Hearts On Fire

Prayer for Hearing God’s Word

Father, I’m praying for (name one or more) and others in my circle of family and friends who need Christ…

You are the God who gives life to the spiritually dead. (Romans 4:17b)

I thank You that everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. But Scripture asks, How can these I’m praying for call on Jesus if they have not believed in Him? And how can they believe in Him if they’ve not heard about Him? And how can they hear without someone bringing the truth to them? And how can they hear unless that person is sent? (Romans 10:13–15a)

I ask You to send someone into each of their lives, someone with the message of life, the Word of Christ—for Your Word does not return empty; it accomplishes what You desire and achieves the purpose for which it is sent. (Romans 10:17; Isaiah 55:11)

May they hear the words of Christ, for His words are spirit and they are life. May the words that they hear not be stolen from their hearts. ( John 6:63; Luke 8:12)

Send someone they can respect to bring them the truth. In Jesus’ name, amen.

BIBLICAL HUMORS

Biblical humors….

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. Ruthless.

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a Little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q.. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.

Q. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. (Groan.)

PS… Did you know it’s a sin for a woman to make coffee?
Yup, it’s in the Bible. It says. ‘He-brews’

KEEP SMILING!!! GOD LOVES YOU BUNCHES AND BUNCHES!!!
Friends are God’s way of taking care of us.

…Faith, Hope & Love — but the greatest of these is LOVE. – 1 Corinthians 13:13

fr. heart, SVD/WEB/Biblical Humor

CHINESE BABY NAMES

Born in the dark = Andy Lim
Born blind = Kenneth Sy
Born being swindled = Lino Co
Born while cooking = Nilo Toh
Born as 10th child = Sam Po
Born while being courted = Lily Gaw
Born fat = Bob Uy
Born little = Kathy Ting
Born different = Eva Yan
Born with porridge = Lino Gaw
Born looking for someone = Allen Sia
Born while counterfeiting = Faye King
Born on Sunday = Lyn Go
Born in error = Mali Sia
Born during a quarrel = Ally Tan
Born with picture = Lara Huan
Born with sweets = Ken Dy
Born undefined = Sam Ting
Born while taking a bath = Lily Go
Born not to take a bath = Dinah Lily Go
Born while buying = Bill Li
Born secretly = Tina Go
Born to fart = Otto Tin
Born ugly = Kaw Yoon

Born Abnormal = Sam Ting Wong

rosegealan@yahoo.com

HELLO…MIKE…TESS

And also with you

In our church, each service begins with a greeting.
The officiating clergyman says, “The Lord be with you.”

The congregation used to respond by saying, “And with thy spirit.”

But, with the modernizing of the liturgy,

the minister now says, “The Lord be with you,”

and everyone responds with, “And also with you.”
One Sunday a visiting bishop went to a church where the sound system was known to be old and unreliable. As he approached the microphone, he tapped it several times

and finally said, “There’s something wrong with this!”

Without hesitation, the whole congregation answered faithfully, “And also with you.”

Second Opinion

This guy was climbing a tree when suddenly he slipped. He grabbed at a branch and was hanging in mid air. After an hour, he felt himself getting exhausted and looked up to the heavens and cried out: “God, help me! Please, help me!”

All of a sudden the clouds parted and a voice boomed out from on high. “Let Go!” said the voice.

The guy paused, looked up at heaven once more, and said: “Is there anyone else up there?”

WHY PUNCTUALITY IS IMPORTANT

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while people waited.

“I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss’ wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister-in-law. I was appalled! But as the days went on, I knew that my people were not all like that, and I had indeed come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.”

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived, full of apologies for being late. He immediately began to make the presentation, giving his talk.

“I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him for confession!”